China, here I come!

When dad announced we're going to Beijing for 8 days this coming CNY, we were all excited over WINTER CLOTHINGS!!! YAY!!! We're going SKI-ING!!!

I tried on my old winter jacket (bought for when we went to Japan 9 years ago) and SURPRISE... it is too friggin big for me. I can't believe I was wearing an XXL~ when I was 16. My sister said she was just looking over our photos in Japan and yes I was pretty darn huge at that time, comparable to probably... a gorilla. Hence, I needed a new jacket in a much much much smaller size and... lo and behold... jeans! *sobs* I have never ever ever been able to fit into jeans since forever. My body is just shaped weird. Think pear. A large pear. The top part of my body is a size 10 but the bottom is a 14! Massive difference! Move aside J-Lo, I've got bigger ass... I guess the bf is an ass man.

We went to a couple of places today - plaza sing, east point, tampines - and at the end of the day I got myself the following wonders:-

1) A super cool winter jacket, black with pink linings to match my pink sweater. HOT pink btw. Fur trimmings around the hood. No more looking like potatoes. Time to take more pictures from atop the Great Wall of China! muahahahahaa.....

2) 2 pairs of stretchy jeans from Marks & Spencers, 1 in bootcut and the other in straight. Both complemented my perfectly big ass. Really, you'd wish you could spank it. I can't believe I found jeans that fits me! *bewildered*

3) 1 pair of cargo trousers from Marks & Spencers, it just felt so spacious I swear I want to live in it. I think.

4) 1 pair of denim tights from Dorothy Perkins. Its the "IN" thing. And I predict its going to be another timeless piece. Every girl should have at least one. *blinks*

5) 1 absolutely gorgeous black dresstop with mini white polka dots and a hole at the back. Holes are great at strategic places. Gives you that "PEEK A BOO" feel. "The I'm-neither-naughty-nor-good" aura. So me!

So, everything required for China "CHECK!", everything not required for China "CHECK!"... Feels good to be a girl~ =D

My weight loss journey

I've tried many many ways to losing weight. Some work. Some don't. Here are the ones I've tried over the years.

1) About 3 years back, I was on a roll. I force myself to wake up superbly early in the morning for a half hour jog at the park near my house before I head to work. I cut down my carb portion to about half or a quarter. Mom was lovely enough to cook me loads of fish and vegetables for dinner. I manage to lose about 7kgs in just 4 months to about 63kgs.

Then I got lazy. Changed jobs. And was busy with college and shit like that that I put on another 2-3kgs. Bad shape. So I re-motivated myself a year later with the help of some of my skinny colleagues.

2) I bought a belly dance/low impact aerobics dvd and was at it almost every other night with Woman. It really is great to have company when doing these exercises. Since its low impact, you kinda get a little bored halfway through it. With a friend around, we manage to go through 2 CDs each time, equivalent to a one hour workout. Once we went a little crazy and did 4 CDS, thus totalling 2 hours of workout. We ended up a big pile of sludge on the floor. My diet consisted of lots of soupy stuff, lots of water and lots of fruits in between. I tell you, I was one really bloated child. A week into this diet, I was literally feeling the vomit rise in my throat everytime something soupy is served in front of my face. I survived 2 months and lost 7kgs. I was a happy 58kg girl.

Of course, this stupid liquid diet thingie is a killer and I quit because I was a piglet and I felt like I was going to die and that my life seems kinda empty without yummilicious rich and fatty foods. Haha! Life went on, many things happen and I was enjoying my food, irregularly doing the belly dance workout every once in awhile. Nothing happen. No weight loss whatsoever. But I gained back 8kgs, bringing my weight back to 66kgs. I'm one hell of a fluctuating chart. So, this year I look to a good friend for some advice. She is the fittest girl I know so hence, I took her advice.

3) I bought myself a treadmill. Yay! I was told to avoid all oily food, biscuits, cakes, cut down on carb portions by half etc etc. And, am supposed to jog 40 minutes on the treadmill. Yes. 40 minutes!!! I was diligently at it for a few weeks but my weight remains stagnant. My good friend tells me its cos I'm gaining muscle mass which weighs substantially more than fat. But that if I keep going at it, I will lose weight. Very very upsetting to weigh myself after some point. Feels like all my hard work on the treadmill ain't producing any results. Its very discouraging.

My boyfriend was constantly telling me that cardio isn't enough. I need to do some weights to tone up. But the girlfriends say NO, keep OFF the weights otherwise you'd get unsightly muscles. Such a conflict. I went online and did a little research. Problem with me is I don't know how to work weights!!! I have this little pink dumbbells weighing approx 4 pounds each but I never know how to use them properly. After reading lots of raving reviews...

4) I got myself the Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred video. The 3-2-1 workout is a killer working strength, cardio and abs. The 30 mins workout completely killed me on the first day. I managed to finish the complete set. I get to use my dumbbells. But I couldn't manage the 2nd day. I was utterly sore at my arms, legs and stomach. I guess it must be working! I pushed myself to go at it again on the 3rd day. TORTURE!!! In just 20 minutes on the JM workout, I had produced a lot more sweat than when I was doing 40 minutes on the treadmill. My god! My sports bra was soaked, sweat going into my eyes and nose and mouth. I was a complete mess. And today, I did it for the 3rd time. Arms were shivering everytime I lift the dumbbells. Diet-wise, I was eating like any normal person, I believe the Nutrilite Carb Blocker works as it blocks 500 calories. I take it before every carb-containing meals. Hence I was able to eat some carbs for energy. I'm Asian. I need my rice. That's why I couldn't survive the last couple of diets that don't allow me to take my rice. Anyways, after just 3 days of the JM workout, I felt leaner already. Boyfriend hugged me and said I feel smaller in his arms. I don't know whether he's kidding me but with some confidence, I stepped on the treadmill and... VOILA!! Just 3 days and I lost 1 kg!!! Yay!!!

If its really true that one can lose 20pounds with this 30 days shred video, and I'm actually losing 1kg every 3 days, I'm so going to keep at it. Lets see what happens in another 27 days! I'm on day 3 of level 1. 7 days to go before I proceed to level 2. (I watched level 2 and level 3. Its like exercise for robots. I feel like no human can do it man! Good luck to me!)

Impossible Wishes

I was visiting Woman's house last night and we were sitting around watching The Biggest Loser. Its such a torture watching them get drilled into strenuous exercises after a whole life of... slobbery. But when I look through Ali Vincent's pictures and read her story, it is inspiring in a way that tells you, anyone can achieve what they want. Quite comforting really to know that these people who weight approximately 100 over kgs can lose so much weight in a few months. What can be so difficult for me?

It is very discouraging to say that although it has been 2 weeks since I started religiously working out for 40 minutes or so every day and has also cut down a lot on my diet, I have actually NOT lose ANY weight whatsoever. =( I scoured through the internet to find a reason and asked a bunch of people. I mean, just half a kilo is at least something. But NONE??? They all say the same thing... "Oh its because you're gaining muscle mass, which weighs substantially more than fats, so just chill out, keep going at it, it'll burn your fats soon!"

Right... keep going keep going...

Anyway, after the reality show, pops The Nanny. Fran Drescher. By golly, has anyone realised that she has the most perfect Barbie Doll body? Its not like she's fit or whatever. In fact, she's a little meaty which by the way in my opinion, is sexier than lots of popping muscles. For a woman anyway. It inspired me to give my Fairy Godmother a little headache by wishing for the impossible:-

1) I want to have Fran Drescher's to-die-for body!




2) I want to have Angelina Jolie's yummilicious lips!



3) I want to have Duffy's style! So 50's - 60's Retro! Love Love Love her~!





I guess probably the only thing I can achieve is MAYBE... Duffy's style... Good luck my dear fairy godmother...

Letter to Grandma in Penang,

Dear Grandma,

There are some things I want to say to you. I am so pissed off right now with everybody for not being strong enough to take action. Everybody is so concerned about their ego and their money. To me, I believe its just fear and laziness. I am not the head of the family, I can make a lot of noise, create a lot of fuss, scream and shout and try my best to penetrate some common sense into the so-called adults of the family but they just seem too dense to understand.

And now, you're lying on the hospital bed, in a coma... Whilst I'm stuck here with friggin assignments. Its so not worth it. I can't do the assignments properly, my heart aches to go and see you. I regret that I keep avoiding chances to visit you because I despised the rest of them who likes to compare and criticize. I keep waiting for the day when I'm successful before I go up. But it seems, time is running out and I'm still stagnant where I am.

And these little memories of you keep spinning in my head...

1) Your lovely cooking, always a fusion of chinese, malay, nyonya and indian food.
2) Your kuihs and desserts...
3) How you used to stay up whole night to watch tamil & hindi movies because you can't sleep for more than 3 hours
4) How you used to narrate those movies to me, even though you don't understand the language and you can't read the subtitles
5) How you taught me to make origami ball, frogs, birds, boats, planes etc
6) How you forced me to finish my food, then eat it up urself when I don't
7) How you and mom and the rest of the aunties would talk so loud that I always thought you guys were quarreling but you're not...
8) How we used to ride the dogs outside our house... I was little, the dog could easily walk around with me on its back. I don't know how the dog managed it with you though... Still a mystery up til today...
9) How you love to walk around wrapped in just the batik sarong and lots of bedak sejuk on ur face and armpits...
10) How you use to put bedak sejuk on MY face when I was young. Damn I looked stupid. Mom would tuck my shirt in my shorts, like really high up. With the white stuff on my face somemore. I could scare a ghost.
11) How you called me "Cricket" all the time cos you tried to imitate how mom called me "Grace Girl" but your pronunciation is just off. Haha...
12) The time when I wore a pink baju kurung and you wore a beautiful purple sarong... I still have that picture. Now that I'm grown up, I can finally wear the same sarong but in red and black.

Mom regrets that she did not have the time to see you more often. Its so typical, that only when something is falling out of our hands, that we finally look into ourselves and realize how grave the consequences of the little things we could've done but did not.

Makes me want to strive harder, get out of the friggin rat race, do something for myself asap so that I'll always have an unlimited amount of free time for my family. I am not going back to being a sad little employee at the mercy of the company.

Hang in there, grandma. Wake up. I want to eat your kuih kodok and your bubur kacang again...

I may not show it but, love always,
"Cricket"

Big brother's watching? Bullshit. It's daddy!

My dad said something to mom that was utterly out of this world. I still can't get it out of my head. Its too shocking and surprising and suspicious in a way... hmm...

"Teach grace how to pray. Ask the Indian boy to come too. Teach him too. Need to start training. If I got money, I'm gonna buy a semi-D, I want him to live with me."

Wtf man?

Good part: Think he has accepted my boyfriend.
Bad part: He seems to think my boyfriend is some pariah who dunno shit, needs training and watching over.

*Pening*

Hey, busybody!

What's wrong with what I do?
Why must you poke and pick?
Just leave my business to myself,
You're making me quite sick!

You say one thing but mean some other,
I'm getting quite confused;
What do you really care about?
Frankly, I'm not amused.

So what if I bare some skin?
Or maybe half my boobs?
So what if I'm not very thin?
Stop giving me that look.

Yeah, pick at my profession,
Ask me what I earn;
Go on, frown in disapproval,
May your face be filled with winkles~

Leave my family and friends alone,
What is wrong with you?
Man, you piss me to the bone,
They are not your headline news.

Stop imparting unwanted wisdom,
And wasting bloody energy,
On something small and insignificant,
Like him, or her, or me!

Go take care of the environment,
Drive safely and be nice,
Go donate some time to charity,
And save some laboratory mice.

Participate in planting trees,
Say no to smoke and plastic, please!
Then maybe you'll finally be one,
Whose opinions really count.

Love for Candy

I realised I don't have a love for candy. Candy don't tempt me the slightest.

Was at woman's house earlier wit Jo. We went and volunteered to be free labour - wrap candies. Jo was filling up her mouth and Marc Jacobs wonderbag with dozens and dozens of candies while I seem to be more interested in the lasagna. Is there something wrong with me?

Oh and I have gained weight so now here's the plan which I hope I can follow as closely as possible from erm... tomorrow onwards:-
1) Cut carbo intake by 75%, in other words just quarter bowl of rice a day sial!
2) Jog 15-20 minutes on the treadmill or brisk walk 30-40 minutes depending on availability of time
3) Don't touch a single shred of solid food from 8pm onwards

I feel like skipping work, sit at home and rush out my assignments. I have this obsessive compulsive need to be the first to hand in my assignments and ensure I top the class or better yet, top the entire batch of students taking the same subject in the same semester. Which means sacrificing sleep, paktor time, friends time, family time, work time (means pay cut) and self-pampering time.

Why do I do this to myself???