Impossible Wishes

I was visiting Woman's house last night and we were sitting around watching The Biggest Loser. Its such a torture watching them get drilled into strenuous exercises after a whole life of... slobbery. But when I look through Ali Vincent's pictures and read her story, it is inspiring in a way that tells you, anyone can achieve what they want. Quite comforting really to know that these people who weight approximately 100 over kgs can lose so much weight in a few months. What can be so difficult for me?

It is very discouraging to say that although it has been 2 weeks since I started religiously working out for 40 minutes or so every day and has also cut down a lot on my diet, I have actually NOT lose ANY weight whatsoever. =( I scoured through the internet to find a reason and asked a bunch of people. I mean, just half a kilo is at least something. But NONE??? They all say the same thing... "Oh its because you're gaining muscle mass, which weighs substantially more than fats, so just chill out, keep going at it, it'll burn your fats soon!"

Right... keep going keep going...

Anyway, after the reality show, pops The Nanny. Fran Drescher. By golly, has anyone realised that she has the most perfect Barbie Doll body? Its not like she's fit or whatever. In fact, she's a little meaty which by the way in my opinion, is sexier than lots of popping muscles. For a woman anyway. It inspired me to give my Fairy Godmother a little headache by wishing for the impossible:-

1) I want to have Fran Drescher's to-die-for body!




2) I want to have Angelina Jolie's yummilicious lips!



3) I want to have Duffy's style! So 50's - 60's Retro! Love Love Love her~!





I guess probably the only thing I can achieve is MAYBE... Duffy's style... Good luck my dear fairy godmother...

Letter to Grandma in Penang,

Dear Grandma,

There are some things I want to say to you. I am so pissed off right now with everybody for not being strong enough to take action. Everybody is so concerned about their ego and their money. To me, I believe its just fear and laziness. I am not the head of the family, I can make a lot of noise, create a lot of fuss, scream and shout and try my best to penetrate some common sense into the so-called adults of the family but they just seem too dense to understand.

And now, you're lying on the hospital bed, in a coma... Whilst I'm stuck here with friggin assignments. Its so not worth it. I can't do the assignments properly, my heart aches to go and see you. I regret that I keep avoiding chances to visit you because I despised the rest of them who likes to compare and criticize. I keep waiting for the day when I'm successful before I go up. But it seems, time is running out and I'm still stagnant where I am.

And these little memories of you keep spinning in my head...

1) Your lovely cooking, always a fusion of chinese, malay, nyonya and indian food.
2) Your kuihs and desserts...
3) How you used to stay up whole night to watch tamil & hindi movies because you can't sleep for more than 3 hours
4) How you used to narrate those movies to me, even though you don't understand the language and you can't read the subtitles
5) How you taught me to make origami ball, frogs, birds, boats, planes etc
6) How you forced me to finish my food, then eat it up urself when I don't
7) How you and mom and the rest of the aunties would talk so loud that I always thought you guys were quarreling but you're not...
8) How we used to ride the dogs outside our house... I was little, the dog could easily walk around with me on its back. I don't know how the dog managed it with you though... Still a mystery up til today...
9) How you love to walk around wrapped in just the batik sarong and lots of bedak sejuk on ur face and armpits...
10) How you use to put bedak sejuk on MY face when I was young. Damn I looked stupid. Mom would tuck my shirt in my shorts, like really high up. With the white stuff on my face somemore. I could scare a ghost.
11) How you called me "Cricket" all the time cos you tried to imitate how mom called me "Grace Girl" but your pronunciation is just off. Haha...
12) The time when I wore a pink baju kurung and you wore a beautiful purple sarong... I still have that picture. Now that I'm grown up, I can finally wear the same sarong but in red and black.

Mom regrets that she did not have the time to see you more often. Its so typical, that only when something is falling out of our hands, that we finally look into ourselves and realize how grave the consequences of the little things we could've done but did not.

Makes me want to strive harder, get out of the friggin rat race, do something for myself asap so that I'll always have an unlimited amount of free time for my family. I am not going back to being a sad little employee at the mercy of the company.

Hang in there, grandma. Wake up. I want to eat your kuih kodok and your bubur kacang again...

I may not show it but, love always,
"Cricket"

Big brother's watching? Bullshit. It's daddy!

My dad said something to mom that was utterly out of this world. I still can't get it out of my head. Its too shocking and surprising and suspicious in a way... hmm...

"Teach grace how to pray. Ask the Indian boy to come too. Teach him too. Need to start training. If I got money, I'm gonna buy a semi-D, I want him to live with me."

Wtf man?

Good part: Think he has accepted my boyfriend.
Bad part: He seems to think my boyfriend is some pariah who dunno shit, needs training and watching over.

*Pening*

Hey, busybody!

What's wrong with what I do?
Why must you poke and pick?
Just leave my business to myself,
You're making me quite sick!

You say one thing but mean some other,
I'm getting quite confused;
What do you really care about?
Frankly, I'm not amused.

So what if I bare some skin?
Or maybe half my boobs?
So what if I'm not very thin?
Stop giving me that look.

Yeah, pick at my profession,
Ask me what I earn;
Go on, frown in disapproval,
May your face be filled with winkles~

Leave my family and friends alone,
What is wrong with you?
Man, you piss me to the bone,
They are not your headline news.

Stop imparting unwanted wisdom,
And wasting bloody energy,
On something small and insignificant,
Like him, or her, or me!

Go take care of the environment,
Drive safely and be nice,
Go donate some time to charity,
And save some laboratory mice.

Participate in planting trees,
Say no to smoke and plastic, please!
Then maybe you'll finally be one,
Whose opinions really count.

Love for Candy

I realised I don't have a love for candy. Candy don't tempt me the slightest.

Was at woman's house earlier wit Jo. We went and volunteered to be free labour - wrap candies. Jo was filling up her mouth and Marc Jacobs wonderbag with dozens and dozens of candies while I seem to be more interested in the lasagna. Is there something wrong with me?

Oh and I have gained weight so now here's the plan which I hope I can follow as closely as possible from erm... tomorrow onwards:-
1) Cut carbo intake by 75%, in other words just quarter bowl of rice a day sial!
2) Jog 15-20 minutes on the treadmill or brisk walk 30-40 minutes depending on availability of time
3) Don't touch a single shred of solid food from 8pm onwards

I feel like skipping work, sit at home and rush out my assignments. I have this obsessive compulsive need to be the first to hand in my assignments and ensure I top the class or better yet, top the entire batch of students taking the same subject in the same semester. Which means sacrificing sleep, paktor time, friends time, family time, work time (means pay cut) and self-pampering time.

Why do I do this to myself???

Fuzzy Feeling

Aww... He has a big massive picture of me as his desktop wallpaper in his office pc....
That's the sweetest thing ever.

Its true, the greatest happiness you can find is when the one you love, loves you too.

Beauty Clinic

I'm superlative proud that a little idea could be transformed into a successful event in such a short period of time. It really goes to show how a team can do so much more than an individual can do.

And I friggin' love the stage. People get stage-fright, I get stage-excited. Haha! Half the time I don't know what the hell I was talking about and my sentences go awry, I forget words and started replacing with sound effects or bahasa but what the hey. Its fun!!!

Mom did a fantastic job with skincare. Joanna was a complete doll. Woman was the encouraging face I look to as always, during college presentations and now. The boyfriend, Aunty, Uncle and everybody else were just too lovely to describe.

Went to Ahmad's place at Kota for Raya in the evening. His house is SO BIG and SO COSY at the same time~! Its so comfortable, I slept off! hahahahaha!!!

Out of randomness, I'm loving my playsuit!!! Really look like one giant baby man.... Damn cute!!! I'm so perasanted~ hahaha...